Aftermath
by Hi Hey Hello Its Me
Summary: Olivia has always taken pride in being strong, and handling whatever life throws at her. After her brutal attack and subsequent hostage situation with Lewis she and everyone around her fears she wouldn't be able to come back from it. Piece by piece, bit by bit, with the help of Amanda and her other colleagues Liv begins to overcome the impossible. This takes place after SVU 15x1.
1. Chapter 1

**these characters belong to Dick Wolf, I just borrow them to tell stories**

(Also please note for this story Cassidy doesn't exist, nothing against him, it just lends myself some more Rollivia creativity.) Please review! Stay tuned for chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

Olivia felt Nick's hands wrapped tightly around her waist, she blinked rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight she hadn't seen for days. She stared blankly at Fin, and Amanda and the other cops all staring back at her in horror. She felt terrible, and she knew she must look even worse. After all, Lewis had beat, burned and otherwise hurt her for three days straight. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to push those thoughts out of her head, she didn't want to remember what happened and she knew if she started crying she would never stop.

Nick gently helped Olivia into the back of the car, she winced as he touched her bruised form and he instinctively pulled away, not wanting to cause any more pain. Nick hopped into the front and Amanda sat in the back next to Olivia. Amanda made every effort possible to talk to Olivia on the ride to the hospital. She felt the need to get some sense as to how she was doing, and what had happened those fateful days she was missing. Her questions and small talk landed on seemingly deaf ears, Olivia didn't move, she stared out the door, giving no indication she had even heard Amanda's attempts at conversing. Amanda looked at her sadly, her eyes tearing up as she quickly blinked them out of her eyes. She reached out and rubbed Olivia's back, desperately trying to comfort her traumatized colleague. The touch caused Olivia to instinctively flinch away and her whole body began shaking. Amanda immediately pulled her hand away apologizing profusely.

Upon arriving to the hospital Nick helped Olivia out of the car and Amanda walked along with them as they headed towards the ER entrance. Suddenly Olivia's pain felt more acute, she stumbled to the side and Amanda rushed to her other side, so that her and Nick could gently guide her indoors. Olivia looked between her two colleagues gratefully, everything around her started to buzz, black patches started to fill her vision and she collapsed just as they entered the ER. If it weren't for her friends she would've fallen to the ground. Nick scooped her into his arms, carrying her small form as if she was a baby. Amanda yelled for a gurney as the hospital staff rushed in helping Liv onto the gurney and quickly moved her into a room, immediately they began hooking Liv up to machines while muttering medical talk together that Amanda and Nick didn't understand.

Amanda and Nick stared at Olivia's broken form in the bed, seemingly unable to take their eyes off their friend. Fin rushed in a moment later and noticed Liv lying unconscious in the bed. Only Fin's yelling, "What happened?" broke Amanda and Nick's trance like state. Amanda and Nick rushed to Fin, comforting him and explaining what happened. They were interrupted with a loud beep and subsequent yelling next to Liv's bedside. "Code blue, code blue!" yelled a nurse as another nurse ran up to Liv with a defibrillator. The three friends watched in horror as the nurse yelled "clear!" and shocked Liv's chest causing her whole body to lift off the bed. "We have to get her to the OR," the doctor ordered. And just like that before the friends could do anything Liv on her gurney was racing down the hallway. The detectives looked at eachother, fear in their eyes, unable to utter any words.


	2. Chapter 2

******Sending a huge thanks to those who have read, favorited and reviewed, it means a lot! Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I'll try to have chapter three ready within a few days******

**Chapter 2**

By now the entire squad was at the hospital waiting anxiously for any word on Olivia. Cragen, Fin and Nick sat next to each other, nobody talking. Amanda couldn't stop pacing. Finally Nick broke the long silence, "Amanda, will you cut that out? Just sit still, you're making this worse!" Amanda looked at him, upset, but before she could say anything the doctor that had rushed Olivia into surgery a few hours ago stood in the doorway. Immediately the squad ran up to him, barraging him with questions. The doctor raised his hands, in an effort to quiet them, once they were silent, he began to speak. "Olivia has experienced an immense amount of trauma, there is a lot of internal bruising. She suffered a hemothorax, which made blood pool around her lung, this is what caused her to collapse. We were able to drain it, and she will be able to heal fully from it." The detectives let out a collective sigh of relief before Cragen spoke up, "when can we go see her?" The doctor hesitated briefly before saying, "you can go see her now, but I need to update you all on a few things." He paused before meeting their eyes, "I understand you are all with SVU, and I think it's important you know that we discovered evidence consistent with sexual assault or rape." He sighed, "I am so sorry, when we took her in for surgery we had to sterilize her, so the evidence off her body is gone. It was that or she died. I'm so sorry." The detectives didn't know what to say, looking back at the doctor with looks of shock, of hate, of horror and sorrow. "One last thing," the doctor muttered, "We had to give her stitches in various wounds and she has a broken wrist, and a torn ligament in her shoulder" Cragen finally found his voice, "thank you doctor, is that all?" He responded, "yes sir, you all may go in a visit her, but be aware she's tired, and confused, so don't be too loud."

Cragen knocked softly on the door and the detectives walked in, fake smiles of encouragement pasted onto their faces. Nick gasped, somehow, she looked worse than when they took her in a few hours prior. Liv slowly opened her eyes blinking slowly, trying to take in her surroundings. Amanda walked over to her bed and took her hand, "Hey Liv." "hey" she said back weakly. She tried to shift positions and winced in pain, "what happened?" she whispered. The detectives standing around her bed glanced between each other, not sure how to answer that. Finally Fin said, "what do you remember Liv?" Liv closed her eyes tightly, "I remember Lewis, I remember you guys saved me and we were going to go to the hospital...that's it." Fin smiled softly, "You didn't miss too much then. They took you into surgery to repair internal bleeding by your lung and they stitched some of those wounds." Olivia nodded silently.

Olivia turned to Cragen, "you need my statement don't you?" "Yes, Liv, but we have time you don't have to rush into that, it's only been a few hours," Cragen answered. "Can we just get it over with," Liv pleaded. She saw the apprehensive glances between the detectives, "Please. I just need this over." she asked, her voice breaking. "Okay Liv," Cragen said, "who do you want to take your statement?" She looked into the faces of her friends and colleagues, and noticed with horror that looking at the men all she could see was _him, _Lewis. She closed her eyes tightly, trying to hide her fear which she knew was irrational, willing any thoughts of Lewis to leave. "Amanda please," she said unopening her eyes. Amanda looked up surprised, she and Liv had been getting closer, but they had had their fair share of arguements over the years. Liv didn't open her eyes, "can everyone else leave please?" The guys looked at her sadly, and filed out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so much for the views, reviews, and the favorites, it means so much to me! Please let me know what you think of this chapter!**

**Chapter 3**

Amanda glanced down at Olivia, her eyes were squeezed tightly together. "Liv," Amanda whispered, but there was no answer. "Liv," she said a little louder this time, but Olivia didn't make any indication she had heard. "Olivia," Amanda called grasping her hand, upon hearing her Olivia's eyes flew open and she jumped, ripping her hand out of Amanda's grasp, terrified. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to scare you," Amanda whispered softly. Olivia began gasping for breath, each breath seemingly caught in her throat, she looked to Amanda, panic written all over her face. Amanda took her hand, "it's okay Olivia, you're safe, breathe with me. Just breathe in and out." All Olivia could do was shake her head, 'no,' while a few stray tears slipped from her eyes, she immediately brought her hand to her face and wiped them away. Since the moment her crew saved her she's been adamant with herself, she must not cry, she knows that if she starts crying she won't stop. She doesn't want to show weakness, she doesn't want Lewis to have that power over her. Just the thought of Lewis sent a shudder through her entire body. Slowly though, her breathing was becoming easier. She looked up at Amanda and was surprised to notice that Amanda had tears in her eyes, Olivia looked away quickly, she couldn't cry she vowed to herself. Amanda regained her composure, "Liv, it's okay, we don't need to do this now. We can wait." Refusing to look at her, Olivia answered, "it needs to be done Amanda, can we just get it over with?" Olivia turned to face her and Amanda nodded, "I'm ready whenever you are."

The words came tumbling out of Olivia's mouth, her body shaking, barely even taking a breath as she told Amanda how Lewis had been at home waiting for her when she got back from work. She shuddered telling how he held a gun to her head, how he burned her, he hit her, and beat her before leaving with her outside the fire escape. Olivia paused, trying to calm herself and Amanda slowly took her hand, "take your time, it's okay." Olivia started back up again telling Amanda everything, every single detail from the duct tape on her mouth, the rapes he forced her to watch, the alcohol he made her drink. Amanda was amazed by the poise in Olivia, her shaking now gone and she spoke factually about everything that happened. That is, until she began talking about the beach house.

Amanda saw Olivia's countenance change suddenly and she stopped speaking, opening and closing her mouth but no words would come out. "Liv," Amanda said softly, when Olivia didn't answer she started again, "We can stop now. You've done a great job." Olivia shook her head, 'no.' Olivia cleared her throat and began to speak in an almost inaudible tone. "He knocked me out, when I came to I was on the bed, my clothes were gone." She felt the tears trickle, but she blinked them back, she needed to finish this. "Um, he he he," she paused lowering her voice even more, "he raped me." As soon as the words left her mouth she gasped, saying it made it feel so real. "I fought, I I kicked, I told him to stop," she looked at Amanda, her brown eyes glazed with tears, "Why didn't he stop? He kept going for hours and hours. I just wanted him to stop," Olivia begged Amanda. "I don't know Liv, it's not your fault. I'm so so sorry." With that, all of Olivia's plans to hide her emotions went out the door. Her body filled with sobs, wracking her to her core, shaking uncontrollably as she curled into a ball. Amanda rubbed her back slowly, and to her surprise Olivia didn't pull away. In fact, Olivia came closer to her, Amanda sensed her need for comfort. "Hey Liv, is it okay if I give you a hug?" Olivia nodded, tears streaming down her face. Amanda came and sat on the bed next to Olivia, pulling her into an embrace and holding her soothingly as another round of sobs wracked her broken frame. Finally the sobbing subsided, Amanda rubbed her back slowly willing to take the pain away. Olivia gripped Amanda tighter, she couldn't be alone, last time she was alone _he _had come. Slowly, Olivia drifted off to sleep, but Amanda sat unmoving holding her sleeping boss. Only then did Amanda allow herself to cry. She couldn't bare the thought of what Olivia had been through. Her unshakable boss was the most broken she'd ever seen, Amanda closed her eyes hoping against all hope that Olivia would recover. Then and there Amanda vowed to herself to care for her in any way she could.


	4. Chapter 4

****Thanks so so much for all the people who have read, favorited and reviewed this so far. Please let me know what you think of this chapter****

**Chapter 4**

As Olivia slowly began waking up from her fitful night of sleep the next morning her breath caught in her throat as everything that had happened came flooding back. For a moment Olivia was distraught thinking she was still with Lewis, she whimpered in both fear and pain, unwilling to open her eyes and face reality. Amanda awoke with a start, realizing she had dozed off for a little while at some point. She immediately reached out and grabbed Liv's hand, speaking softly to her, "it's okay Liv, you're safe, you're safe. It's me Amanda." Liv pulled away, wincing at her touch, "don't touch me, please leave me alone, don't climb on top of me, it hurt it hurts." Amanda softly talked to Liv again, trying not to scare her or make it worse, "Olivia, honey, open your eyes, look at me. It's okay, you're at the hospital. It's me, Amanda." Olivia began shaking, closing her eyes even tighter, and yelled out, "GET AWAY FROM ME LEWIS, PLEASE!" she whimpered and in a quieter voice whispered, "I don't want to have sex, no sex, please no sex." Amanda shuddered, filled with anger and hate towards Lewis. In a more forceful voice, "Liv! Olivia! Wake up!" Olivia's eyes shot open, darting all over the room as she tried to catch her breath. "Where is he? Where is he?" She asked in a panic. "Who Liv?" Amanda asked, afraid, because she thinks she already knows who _he _is. "Lewis," Olivia was barely able to get his name out of her mouth. "Olivia, you're in the hospital, you're safe, it's just me, Amanda here." Olivia's wild eyes finally stop the frantic search of the room, relief written over her features, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought he was here...I thought he was raping me again." Amanda gently leaned in to hug her and to her surprise Olivia allowed it, cuddling into her arms.

The women were interrupted by a soft knocking on the door as Munch, Cragen, Fin, and Nick walked into the room carrying a bouquet of flowers for Olivia and donuts for everyone to share. Olivia and Amanda quickly pulled away from there embrace and Amanda wiped the stray tears from her eyes before looking up and giving a small smile to her colleagues and friends. They sat around the room everyone chatting together quietly, about nothing in particular, light hearted topics. Liv was thankful to have a break and not have to think about the past few days from hell. She stayed quiet mostly but enjoyed being with her colleagues and she slowly snacked on a donut. Realizing she hadn't eaten in a very long time, and she was a lot hungrier than she had first thought. Fin smiled at Liv, seeing she was enjoying the donut, powder all around her mouth, he chuckled with her, and to his happiness Olivia joked right along with him. Fin offered to go get something for Olivia to drink, but she adamantly shook her head 'no.' Fin looked concerned, "Have you drank anything since coming in yesterday?" She shook her head, 'no' again. "Liv, you're gonna get dehydrated. You need to drink something. I'll go get you something, you need to take a few sips, I'll force you if I have to." He said with a smile, but his smile immediately turned to a frown when he saw Olivia's eyes shut tightly, rocking back and forth in bed. "Liv, what's wrong?" He asked, concerned for the sudden change in demeanor. Her eyes still closed she slowly muttered, "no more vodka, please no more, I just want water. Stop giving me the drugs and alcohol." The group of friends suddenly realized what was going on, she was having a flashback. Fin put a glass of water next to the table for her, "okay Liv, I got you water, it's not vodka, it's on the table next to you." Liv didn't seem to hear, getting sucked further into her flashback, shaking harder now and screeching at the top of her lungs, "Stop! Leave me alone! Stop forcing me, it burns." She gagged now, fully convinced that she was being force fed vodka and pills again, her face paled a good three shades and before the detectives could do anything Olivia threw up all over the bed. Amanda, who had been sitting quietly, unsure how to help her distressed friend jumped into action. Talking strongly but soothingly she begged Liv to open her eyes, promising her over and over that she was safe, that she was just having a flashback and that they needed to clean her up. Finally Olivia's eyes fluttered open, fear written all over her tired face. Looking at Amanda, the group of her colleagues and friends and suddenly noticing the vomit covering her bed. She shuddered, humiliated, tears playing at the corners of her eyes, "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." Fin spoke up quickly, "it's not your fault Liv, I am sorry I said something that triggered you." Liv looked up at him with a sad smile, "don't feel bad Fin, it's not your fault either and I should be able to have a normal conversation without breaking down." Fin looked at her sadly, "This isn't gonna be forever, you're gonna get through this. We are all here for you." She nodded, not making eye contact. "Amanda, can you help me get cleaned up please?" Liv asked in a shaky voice. "Of course Liv," she looked to the guys who, understanding their cue left the room so that Amanda could help Olivia get cleaned up.


	5. Chapter 5

***Hi guys! Thanks for reading, for reviewing and for following. So, I'm curious should this be the end or do you want to see more of Olivia's recovery as she goes to stay with Amanda? Let me know and please review...thank you!***

**Chapter 5**

As soon as the guys left the room Amanda helped Olivia to the bathroom, she gently helped her clean herself up. "I'll leave you to change into a clean hospital gown Liv," Amanda uttered softly as she turned to leave the room. "No!" Olivia called out, much more forcefully than intended. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. Do you...do you think you could help me change my clothes? I can't move this arm," she said gesturing to her right arm in a sling. "It hurts too much." Amanda smiled softly at her, "of course Liv". Amanda undid the tie on Olivia's gown, Olivia winced as the gown was pulled over her injured shoulder. As Amanda helped Olivia into a clean gown she couldn't help the pangs of hate, or horror, of sorrow she felt when she saw that the entirety of Olivia's body, covered in burns, bruises and other wounds.

"Amanda," Olivia called softly suddenly looking urgently around the small bathroom. "I'm right behind you Liv tying your gown, do you need something?" Olivia nodded weakly, "I'm tired...I'm dizzy...I need to lay down...right now." Amanda quickly put her arms around Olivia as she helped her stumble back into the room. Amanda breathed a sigh of relief when she saw someone had already changed the bedding for her. She slowly helped Olivia down onto the bed, careful not to hurt her. "Liv, you're really pale, are you sure you're okay? Can I get you anything?" She was going to ask if she could get her something to drink but quickly remembered the flashback that had gotten them into this predicament, and she decided not to say anything more. "I'm scared." Is all Olivia said back to Amanda, those two words broke Amanda's heart. Olivia was strong, she never admitted to her fear or her pain. "What can I do Liv? How can I make you feel safe?" Olivia blinked back the tears threatening to come yet again, "Please, just sit with me and hold my hand. I'm tired but I am scared to sleep, he comes to me in my nightmares." Amanda nodded, knowing exactly who _he _was, she sat next to Olivia, taking her hand into hers. Minutes later Amanda smiled to herself, seeing that Olivia had fallen fast asleep.

A few hours later Olivia awoke and smiled still feeling Amanda holding her hand tightly. "Thank you for staying, for keeping me safe," Olivia said softly to Amanda. Amanda smiled, "you're welcome, anything I can do to help, I want to do. I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would've done…." she trailed off shuddering at her thoughts. Olivia looked on Amanda with compassion, realizing the toll these past few days have taken on her friends and colleagues, "Amanda, you look exhausted, you should go home and get some sleep, I'll be okay, I promise." But Amanda wasn't budging, "as long as you're here, I'm here, okay Liv? No discussion." Olivia chuckled quietly, "you've always been a stubborn one. I'll make sure they let me out of here today so you don't keep doing this to yourself." she said with a wink.

Amanda's phone buzzed, it was Nick, he and Fin wanted to know if they could stop by, if Olivia was feeling up to it. Olivia smiled, and nodded her approval and a few minutes they walked in. Fin smiled softly at Olivia, "I really am sorry about earlier…," Olivia cut him off before he could even finish, "Look, let's just drop it, it's not your fault and I really don't wanna talk about it." She looked up at Nick eyeing a delicious looking sandwich, "is that for me?" Fin and Nick chuckled, "we figured you'd be hungry," Nick said as he gave Olivia the sandwich. The crew chatted quietly together with Olivia as she ate her sandwich, she smiled to herself, this was the first time she had felt normal, like herself, in days.

A knock on the door hushed the conversation and one of Olivia's many doctors walked in. Before he could get a word out Olivia was eagerly asking him when she could go home. The doctor laughed, "somebody's feeling better I see." The doctor continued to inform Olivia and her friends that he was here to discharge her if and only if she had someone she could stay with. Olivia looked to her friends, worried about putting this on any of them. It's almost like Amanda knew what she was thinking, "it's not a burden Liv, you could stay with me and I'm sure Nick or Fin wouldn't mind either." Fin and Nick nodded back at her smiling agreeing with Amanda. The doctor smiled to Liv, "looks like you'll have someone to stay with. I'll be back in a couple hours to discharge you once that last IV is finished." Olivia nodded, a grateful smile on her lips. "So Liv, who would you like to stay with?" questioned Fin softly, "whoever you're the most comfortable with right now," he added. She looked between her three friends, not wanting to make any of them feel bad, she whispered, "Amanda, is it okay if I stay with you?" Amanda smiled back at her, "of course Liv, you can stay for as long as you need."


End file.
